Well, here we go again. More complaints about the tics, tactics and tired in our
use of words and phrases. Below are the latest that we should excise from the language.
Play a factor.
Even our newscasters and commentators commonly use this grating phrase. One plays a role, or a piano, or a stooge. I, for one, don’t wish to play a factor, which sounds vaguely like something mathematical. As a student I was a big fan of math, but still I never wanted to play with it. It was more like work.
Here is an example of the common misuse of the phrase heard in our media on a now-daily basis: “Oil prices play a factor in our inflation rate and in our vacation plans!” How did this ear-clanging three-word mash ever become established in English? Crimped literacy training on our professional journalism schools? Sheer laziness? Shameless copycat behavior? I don’t know. But I do know where the sloppiness came from: blending without awareness of two correct phrases: “Plays a role” and “Is a factor.” Etymologists arise and defend! Locate and bring shame to the linguistic loafer who is responsible for the garbling of these two phrases.
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. . . I don’t think.
No, apparently you don’t. If you did, you would have your positives and negatives properly lined up. Here is an example of this common misuse: “The GOP is never going to create policies to serve the public interest, I don’t think!” Come on! Either you think this of the Grand Old Party, or you do not. Decide. Who–or what–are you going to vote for? Besides, it cannot be good to end sentences by declaring that you don’t think.
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Sort of. Â
Stop it! Own what you are saying! Why use a mealy-mouthed qualifier like this? “You know, the 2024 Trump campaign is, sort of, really hurting Republican chances in the suburbs.” The cable news talking heads are sort of all over the place with this hedge against sounding too assertive. I suspect progressive talk show hosts are more given to this sort of linguistic humility than are conservative ones. Have you ever heard a Fox host say anything like, “Trump is sort of going to destroy Biden on the age thing, being a full three years younger as they campaign for 2024.” No, you haven’t. C’mon, libs, toughen up! Own the truth. Claim the facts. Someone has to.
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Stiff upper lip.
Alright, I’ve got a bone to pick with the Brits.  Stiff upper lip?  Keep one to show stoicism, strength in the face of heartbreaking loss? To be a ‘real’ man? C’mon, the upper lip has never been the problem! When has yours ever quivered? It’s not the upper lip, it’s the lower lip that reveals your vulnerable side. That’s the quivering part. So, fellas, let’s be real. Let’s keep that lower lip locked and park our emotions where they belong: in our livers, our ulcers and our arteries.
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Bone to pick.
Really? An idiom that refers to an argument or a complaint based on a dog picking interminably on a bone? Long after all the meat is off the bone? “I have a bone to pick with you, Mortimer!” The phrase is not apposite, its opposite! Have you seen anything more relaxed than a mutt lounging in the summer sun idly chewing on a bone? Unless it’s your leg, there is no argument here! It’s probably past time to reconsider all of our idioms. A real bone to pick!
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Footage.
Here is another lousy holdover in our lexicon. Back in Hollywood’s Golden Age movie makers used spools of film to make movies and television shows. Some directors still use film. But what we see in movie theaters and on daily news shows is largely not film. There are no lengths of feet to it. It is digital–a ton of zeros and ones. It is distinctly NEITHER footage nor film, even if broadcasters and commentators continue to describe it as such. So we need a new word in the 21st century. How about digits? Clean, simple, accurate. “A fire downtown leveled the Grand Theatre last night. Digits at 11!”
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Good ranting, Peter!
And how about, “To be honest,…” So, were you not honest before?
And on the footage issue, we still hear, “Let’s play the tape.” Where can one find tape these days? How about simply, “Here’s the video?”
Well said! No wonder I am cautious when I am entering an argument with you! You have a keen eye for what no longer works!
So, Pedro, don’t you think you sort of have a bone to pick with your upper lip…or does that not play a factor here? After all, give ’em an inch and they’ll take a footage, sort of like you know what I mean?
BTW, if you want to have some fun with cool language, check out the website that my daughter Ana Maria and I just launched on Earth Day (www.faunafloramorphs.com).